More Than a Love
by RageRunsStill
Summary: Am I the only one who finds it funny that everybody just automatically assumes Doris has never given me the time of day, and that's why I chase her? Because that's not how it happened at all.


_**A/N:** I recommend listening to "Don't Run Away" by Tyler James Williams before or after reading this - preferably after, since it will have a stronger affect._

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_**To Doris. I'll always love you.**_

_**Happy Fifth-Year Anniversary.**_

I find it funny how everybody thinks that the reason I "chase after" Doris is because she's never given me a chance and I want her to know that I'm worth it. But let me tell you the _real_ reason I try so hard to get her to notice me: she cut my chance short.

Yes, I perfectly remember the day I met her. We – Skipper, Rico, Private and I – were on a mission in South Carolina- [Yes, Skipper, I realize that information is classified; I wasn't going to go into any detail.]

Anyway, a mission in South Carolina. I can't give away too much, especially since Skipper's in the room and I'm using his recorder to exorcise my demons and give explanations to you poor misguided souls about my "love life"... if you could call it that.

Our mission was going smoothly until a certain _private_ dropped the French horn we needed (long story) and someone had to go retrieve it. Skipper picked me. I went down, got it; easy in, easy out. After a campaign of complicated algorithms that I won't bore you with, we were back home in the Central Park Zoo a few days later, content with our work.

However, there was a problem. Something, not saying what, we had done in Carolina had changed the pattern of a ship, and it had run over a dolphin, severing its tail. It was getting sent to the zoo – _our_ zoo – to be taken care of since New York is home of the greatest dolphin doctor – [Quit laughing, Rico!] - in the country.

Sure enough, when the team went topside, we noticed what we hadn't before – a large dolphin tank near the kangaroo habitat.

"Boys," Skipper said, "I think we just did something horribly wrong by changing that ship's delivery schedule."

"We hurt a dolphin!" Private cried.

Rico grunted and pointed at the gate.

I watched with dismay as a delivery truck pulled through the zoo gates and went straight to the tank. Alice was shouting something I couldn't hear, and pointing toward the dolphin habitat. You can guess how terrible I felt as they unloaded a dolphin, chirping in pain, and placed it in the tank... with an animatronic tail attached to its body where a real one should be.

Private winced behind me. "I feel terrible."

"Ditto, young Private," Skipper said sadly. "Men, we've gotta make it up to that mammal. Kowalski, options."

"Well..." I frowned. "Perhaps fish and a small bundle of flowers."

"Sounds good." Skipper turned to Private. "Soldier, this is your moment. You're constantly bringing in flowers – where do you get 'em?"

"The flower shop down on fifty-forth."

"Excellent. Kowalski, you and Private stay here and collect the fish from lunch – I guess we'll be skipping it today. Rico and I will go get the flowers and be back before you notice we're gone."

"Aye, sir," I stated.

"Move out."

Oh, you thought _I_ was going to go get the flowers, since Doris becomes _my_ sweetheart? Haha, yeah; think again. You see, there was this one time we thought that Maurice was dying, and Skipper ordered me to rappel into a flower shop and... Well, I learned that I was allergic to flowers, cacti, and rappelling. And that's all I'll say about that dreadfully long night.

That evening, after the zoo closed, the four of us went over to the dolphin exhibit and knocked cautiously on one of the glass sides.

"Ahh!" cried a feminine voice from inside. A head poked through the surface of the water, and the young dolphin clung to the edge of the pool with her flippers to keep from falling back in. "Please, don't knock on the side like that! It's very loud down there. I'm not used to this glass cube... I miss my ocean."

Yup. First thing my Doris ever said to me. Charming, right? "Sorry," I apologized. "We just, uh, heard what happened and thought we would come over and welcome you to the zoo." Yeah, I chose the "Welcome to the zoo" bit over the "Get well soon! We're very sorry about your tail – did you know it was our fault it got amputated?" bit. Call me a loser, but you would do it, too. "I'm Kowalski, by the way."

"Doris," she stated sadly. "And as kind as it was of you penguins to welcome me here, I hope I don't stay long. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful, but I miss my ocean dearly."

"Well, here." I handed her the flowers. "Maybe these will make your temporary home more cheery."

"Thank you," she said. She looked expectantly behind me, and I blushed a little (Thank goodness for feathers!) since I forgot the rest of the team was behind me. I turned to look at them as well, only to see their jaws slackened slightly in an agape manner.

Naturally, Private was the first to regain composer and find his tongue. "You're beautiful!"

Doris blushed. "Thank you, Mr..."

"Private."

She smiled. "Who are...-"

"Skipper," Skipper said proudly. "And this is Rico."

"Hi," Rico said, taciturn as always.

"Nice to meet you," Doris said.

"And to you," I replied.

Rico stepped up and gave Doris the fish we got for her. After she thanked him and we all talked a little more, Skipper gave the order to slide out, which I did after waving goodbye to our new friend.

As you may be able to guess, I wasn't able to sleep that night. Tossing and turning, glancing at the clock, turning back. I couldn't wait for morning, partially because I couldn't wait to see Doris again, and partially because I couldn't sleep anyway, so why lay there all night?

Finally, an hour before the others were supposed to get up, I got up and headed topside to watch the sunrise. I rarely got to see it from beginning to end, so I thought it might be a nice change of pace.

Of course, I never did get to see the sunrise that day, as a scream was heard from the dolphin tank. Sure, I could have woken up the others, but why? They'll get there; they're bound to have heard it. So I raced toward Doris' tank, options flying through my head about what could possibly be the matter.

When I reached the tank, I was met with the sight of Doris flinging herself around the tank, crashing into walls and other obstacles in it. At first I decided to leave her and deem the scream I heard as a shout of pleasure until I noticed that she was trying to protect her face with her flippers. Her tail! It must have been malfunctioning! Of course! So I leapt into the water – [Rico, if you want to live to see tomorrow, you will quit making kissing noises at me!] - and grabbed onto her dorsal fin.

I wanted to call to her, but I couldn't talk underwater, so I didn't bother trying. Instead, I reached back and started fiddling with her robotic tail, rationalizing all the while about what could be happening. However, I soon did something to the tail that made it stop its mad flailing spree. By that time, I was out of air, and had to rush back to the surface to fill my lungs once again. I broke through, gasping and sputtering, before climbing over the wall and collapsing on the wooden boardwalk. A couple seconds later, Doris broke through as well.

"You... You saved me," she panted. "I thought for sure I was a goner!"

"So..." I panted, "You're... better... now?"

"Much, although I have a headache."

"I'm... not... Rico," I said. "Can't... regurgitate... ibuprofen."

"I don't think I would eat it then, anyway." She smiled.

I think that's when our friendship started budding. I began visiting her every day, and soon learned many fun things about her, such as the fact that our birthdays are only three days apart, that we're both left-finned, and that we both love salmon best over every other fish in the sea. It was July twelfth or so when I asked if she would like to be my girlfriend; but she said that she thought we were already together, which shocked me. [Private! Not you, too! Quit laughing! … Yes, you are! - Are too! Ugh. No respect...]

It lasted for awhile, and we were both quite happy. But that all changed once she was sent back to the ocean.

It had been about three months, so mid-September. She was loaded into a truck first thing in the morning, and I told Skipper I was going to the pier to make sure she made it all right. He sent Private with me, reminding me of the Penguin Credo, and sent us off on our quest. [Well, okay, Skipper, maybe it wasn't quite a quest, but what else would you call it? A mission? Please. Cliché much?]

Nothing particularly exciting happened at the pier that morning. Doris was unloaded and immediately greeted with the chirps of other happy dolphins. I didn't want to disturb the reunion since she didn't know I was there, and instead opted to drive back to the zoo. Oh, and Private suggested snow cones, a suggestion to which I happily agreed. That's about it.

I continued to see her. I didn't go every day, but every couple days I would take our little car and drive it to the edge of the sea to talk with her, maybe have a picnic under the stars (since I usually went at night when there were minimal people).

Sometimes she would tell me about getting mocked by some of the other dolphins for her odd-looking tail. Some admired it, but others didn't; she felt embarrassed by it, I remember her telling me. She said she was happy that I was there, because she knew that then she would always have someone to count on; someone who would comfort her, love her, never hurt her like those bullies did. Although we typically talked about more pleasant things.

And... I don't know. I couldn't prepare for what happened next. I still remember the day she broke off the relationship. Maybe I did something wrong... I still blame myself. Maybe there was something I could have done to make her stay. Perhaps talked less about my inventions, more about her. Maybe I should have brought her more gifts, or maybe less. Maybe her heart couldn't be bought with material things. Had she just wanted more love? Less? Or was there really nothing I could do? I didn't want to see her go... especially not like she did...

It was a dusk like any other. I drove down to the pier, a beautiful rose bouquet in my flippers. Oh, she was going to love them, I just knew it! I was trying to find lilies, which are her favorites, but the store had been out, so I had been forced to settle with classic red roses; but I knew she would love them all the same, so I didn't worry too much.

I walked gaily across the pier. Oh, how naïve I had been! I was expecting her smiling form to poke its head out of the water, but I was shocked to notice that her smiled looked forced.

"Hello, Kowalski," she said. "How are you?"

"Fine..." I said, suspicious and worried at the same time. "Is something wrong?"

She sighed and swished her tail, like she always did when she was nervous. "Kowalski, I..." Tears sparkled in her eyes, worrying me even m-more. I'd s-seen it on all the r-r-romance shows. Sh-She was going to br-... b-break... "I'm breaking up with you, Kowalski. I'm so sorry! P-Please don't hate me; I..."

I didn't know what to s-say. I-I mean, what d-do you say to s-s-something like that? I – [Th-Thank you, Rico. I needed tissues... May I just keep the box? Thanks.]

Anyway, as I was saying, what do you say in that situation? Shout an insult? Say "It's okay" as if "us" never happened? Say nothing and walk away? Burst into tears and beg them to take you back? Well, I'll tell you what I did. "W-...Why?" I asked, tears rushing to my eyes.

"Kowalski, please," she begged, "don't be upset."

At the time, I missed the fact that she ignored my question. I was too busy having the rug ripped out from underneath me while someone took a pickax to my heart. "I'm not upset," I lied, even as I wiped away tears.

Nobody said anything for a few minutes until Doris' eyes fell on the bouquet in my arms. "Were those for me?"

"Yes," I said, not surrendering the flowers. "They were."

I realized something in that moment. I realized that I know less about women than I thought. I realized that awkward situations are my least favorite. I realized that I'm weak, despite my lieutenant status in a highly trained battalion of avian commandos. I realized why Skipper says never to trust anyone – because friends are just enemies that haven't attacked yet. I never liked that phrase – I still don't – but I can't deny that sometimes it rings true. Yet, that's not the only phrase that rings true, as I learned that day: _Better a shattered body than a shattered heart_.

I had nothing left to say. So I said the only thing that came to mind. "They still are."

I handed her the rose bunch and turned to walk away. As I turned on the car she called, "We can still be friends, right?"

I know any human would think I'm crazy, just as you must think I'm crazy. Who _honestly_ stays friends with their ex? But I was happy to hear her say that, and called back with a small smile, "Yes, I think I would like that."

She grinned back and sniffed the roses, waving a flipper in farewell.

As I drove home that night, I promised myself one thing: sooner or later, Doris would be mine again. We were destined to be together. And I was going to prove it... even if I didn't know why she had broken up with me in the first place.

So you may be wondering why I decided to record this. Was reliving the old pain necessary? Of course it wasn't! But I couldn't let people think I was some hopeless, lovestruck fool who was willing to chase an innocent girl around until she was annoyed enough to date me. Yes, maybe now people will think that I'm a hopelessly lovestruck fool who can't accept the truth about the way his flame feels about him; but hey, the truth is the truth. Maybe I _am_ a fool for fawning after a girl who no longer likes me, but I'm no more a fool than Isaac Newton was when he suggested the idea of gravity; and he was _right_, baby! So I look at it this way: if he can be right, so can I.

So watch out, Doris; heart-stealing attempt number thirty-two is coming your way!

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_This is more than a crush,_

_More than a like-like,_

_More than a love,_

_Baby, I'mma make you mine,_

_And I ain't giving up._

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**_An excerpt from _Skipper's log-**

** "...Kowalski finally got around to recording that chronicle about his relationship with Doris; I even gave him an empty tape so he could keep it and re-listen to it. Although, after hearing that story, I feel bad. Even if he doesn't, _I_ know why Doris broke up with him: she and I got to talking one day, and I felt the need to tell her that we were the reason she lost her tail. I don't remember when I told her that... But I guess Doris didn't want to be the girlfriend of one of the penguins that nearly took her life, however inadvertently. Knowing it was my fault pains me, but hey, he'll get over it. Kowalski's resilient – I mean, it's not like he'll fawn over her forever, right?..."**


End file.
